Day 3 (March 4)

Day 3 I believe I’m still in a coma in ICU but my moms gonna tell you what really happened….

Today Rikki is still in a coma. We are taking turns sitting with her, holding her hand, talking and singing to her. I have been telling her over and over that the hardest part is over, her surgery went well and everything is going to be alright. I am torn between a deep conviction that everything will be fine, and a horrible thought that maybe it won’t. As I stare at her face and I pray that when she wakes she will still be the same Rikki. Today has been the hardest – it was the day they said they would try to wake her up and it doesn’t look like it is going to happen.

One of the nurses came up to me and told me that she watched Rikki’s show and she was a fan. She said Rikki looks so much smaller in person, and even though she wasn’t her nurse, she stops by all the time to check on her and see how she is doing. Her brother had been in a car wreck and had the same type of injury. He is doing fine now. It is good to hear positive stories from people who have been through this. Yesterday when I got to the hospital the nurse gave me a message from a reporter. It said to please call him. It is weird to have your daughter in the hospital and have strangers know who she is. When I got home today we did an interview for the news, asking everyone to PRAY as hard as they can. I pray all the time now.

I remember my mom singing…in my dreams I was being forced to stay in the hospital, I thought they were doing science experiences on me and trying to kill me. At one point I even said I quit and tried to leave. Of course I couldn’t leave, I was restrained because I kept trying. My dreams were very real to me even when I was awake I was hallucinating so I could not distinguish the difference between my dreams and reality. But everyone who came to visit me were in my dreams, my family, friends and nurses. Even the CT scanner was in my dreams and I dreamt about getting my skull sawed off. I lost hope in my dreams, I believed people and the world was a dark scary place, I am so greatful that part is over.